on singles ministry... and why i think it is bad...
Over the past few weeks I have gotten a handful of inquiries about starting a singles ministry at the church.
I am the youth director. Just because I am the only single person on staff should not mean that I am obligated to create some place for singles to meet and hang out. Besides the fact that they are wholly ineffective and usually just turn into youth groups for adults. By which I mean, everyone dates everyone else to get out of their singleness, and then they get mad at each other and then there is weird awkward tension in the group. Of course it is different than in youth groups because for the most part, youth get over it. Which I am thankful for.
I might have had a stern interaction with a volunteer who immediately assumed that a phone call about singles ministry should go straight to me. Which was slightly ridiculous of me, but I also think that it is really ridiculous of people to assume that I'll start one. My job title is director of youth ministries. Though I'm doing some young adult stuff too, nowhere does it say that I do adult ministries or singles ministries.
Just something that got my goat this week. So I don't plan on catering to things that people want me to do, and number one on the list is singles ministries. I've never seen one that isn't filled with middle aged people or that is effective. I'm all for the social principles affirming single persons, don't get me wrong at all, I just think affirming them is hanging out with people who are single, married, in a committed relationship, or whatever. To be honest, most of my friends in my life right now are not single, and I am completely fine with not having to deal with the drama of single friends dating and being all confused about it and asking for advice. I don't have the time to date right now let alone start some singles ministry.
End soap box.
I'm off to a youth worker retreat this weekend and I am beyond excited about it. But I still have a lot to get done in the next 20 minutes, so back to the grindstone!
I am the youth director. Just because I am the only single person on staff should not mean that I am obligated to create some place for singles to meet and hang out. Besides the fact that they are wholly ineffective and usually just turn into youth groups for adults. By which I mean, everyone dates everyone else to get out of their singleness, and then they get mad at each other and then there is weird awkward tension in the group. Of course it is different than in youth groups because for the most part, youth get over it. Which I am thankful for.
I might have had a stern interaction with a volunteer who immediately assumed that a phone call about singles ministry should go straight to me. Which was slightly ridiculous of me, but I also think that it is really ridiculous of people to assume that I'll start one. My job title is director of youth ministries. Though I'm doing some young adult stuff too, nowhere does it say that I do adult ministries or singles ministries.
Just something that got my goat this week. So I don't plan on catering to things that people want me to do, and number one on the list is singles ministries. I've never seen one that isn't filled with middle aged people or that is effective. I'm all for the social principles affirming single persons, don't get me wrong at all, I just think affirming them is hanging out with people who are single, married, in a committed relationship, or whatever. To be honest, most of my friends in my life right now are not single, and I am completely fine with not having to deal with the drama of single friends dating and being all confused about it and asking for advice. I don't have the time to date right now let alone start some singles ministry.
End soap box.
I'm off to a youth worker retreat this weekend and I am beyond excited about it. But I still have a lot to get done in the next 20 minutes, so back to the grindstone!
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on Wednesday, September 19, 2007 at 2:07 PM.
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