In 9th grade, the girl who sat next to me in World History in Ms. Montalto's class would come in every day singing "I got two turntables and a microphooooone" finally, I inquired about who this song was by as I was somewhere in between my R & B and alternative music phases and was trying to figure out exactly what it was that I liked musically. Her answer was Beck. I picked up his album Odelay, and from that point forward was hooked. I've always heard that Beck gives a great performance and if I had the chance I should check him out. I had an opportunity to once when I also had my first opportunity to see Ben Folds Five, but the idea was nixed by parents who weren't keen on letting a 16 year old go to Chicago with the rest of her 16-18 year old friends to catch a concert. Probably a wise idea, even though that would have been my only chance to see Ben Folds Five before they split.

Anyhow, Friday night, I was given the opportunity to go and check out Beck and see what the buzz I'd been hearing about truly was. Like Kel, I really felt it was a truly spiritual experience for me, but in a completely different way. Check out his blog for his experience of the concert, the awesome opening act and the strange antics.

For me, the experience was one of healing. Music is part of my soul, part of my being if you will. I caught a bunch of concerts while in college, and I've now been to 3 while here in ABQ, but I wasn't prepared for what the concert was going to hand me. I probably had one of the worst seats in the place, but that was exactly what I needed. From my view, I could see the vast sea of people in the theatre, I could make out faces from across the room, but there I was, alone, in the last row in the last seat. I could have moved forward or worked towards finding a better seat, but what I realized was that the experience I had in that moment was something I could only have in that moment of being alone. One of my favorite fiction books, The Perks of Being a Wallflower describes what I felt in one line. "I feel infinite." In those moments of letting the music wash over me, it was true. I did feel infinite. In the past two weeks I've struggled to not be fearful of life. Things that should be joyful have simply held an opposing fear that hasn't been easy to swallow, but in those moments, I felt loved. I felt like I wasn't the only one thinking through those tough questions. I was really blessed by the experience and I'm really thankful for my friends who have done wonders in lifting me up when I'm going through some of these struggles of dealing with life and death. Music was just what I needed to open the doors to that healing process. Experiencing the concert in the last row by myself somehow helped me realize that I'm not at all alone in all of this, there are people surrounding me and lifting me up whether I know they are or not.

That being said, I'm looking forward to seeing the Counting Crows and Goo Goo Dolls next week with friends. We're doing general admission lawn seating, so we'll all be together and we'll be able to experience the concert in another manner that I love... as a community. Look forward to hearing about that one next week. It is my 2nd time seeing Goo Goo Dolls, but a first for Counting Crows. CC blows me away every time I put on their albums, Hard Candy was the soundtrack to summer 2002. I'm really looking forward to it and everything that goes along with the 4th of July.

This entry was posted on Monday, June 26, 2006 at 6:09 PM. You can skip to the end and leave a response.